An Ode to Gratitude…

It’s true… The pandemic swept in as an indiscriminate predator and a thief, stealing away our fragile sense of security and peace of mind. It’s been earth-shaking, life-changing, heartbreaking, and everything in between.

But nothing is all good or all bad.

Through a more flattering filter, the pandemic has shown up as a tremendous teacher with endless lessons to share… lessons that could transform us into better human beings, if only we’re willing to listen and to grow.

And the lesson that has rung most loud and clear for me is the one about gratitude. And for that, I am… well… most grateful.

Because one year into the pandemic, I more frequently enjoy that sense of peace that accompanies appreciation. And I don’t need anyone to ask me what I’m thankful for to muster up a sense of gratitude.

But as if that feeling of gratitude weren’t in and of itself enough… there’s so much more that comes along with it.

The Undeniable Benefits of Gratitude

Behavioral and psychological research shows that gratitude strengthens relationships, enhances physical health, lowers stress levels, and builds resiliency. To sum that up… wow! And who doesn’t want a little more of all that in their lives?

I can confirm from personal experience that what the research claims is true. Because through the past year, I’ve (really, truly) had more time and grown more thankful for all the gifts in this life that genuinely matter, such as…

1. More time with my teenaged daughters. No, this isn’t a snarky comment… I’m most sincere. My daughters are 17 and 15. It seems that time is pushing them out the door to face the many unknowns of their adult lives.

And I know I’m going to miss them every single day they’re not with me. The pandemic has given me so much more time with them than I would’ve had under more “normal” circumstances. I know what they’re doing and when. We talk. We laugh. And, oh yes, we argue. They fight (a lot!). And I watch them work through these upsets. We’re close, and I’m still a huge part of their daily lives. Not all parents of teenagers can say that. As I watch them speed toward high school graduations and life’s many adventures, I know this won’t always be the case. So how could I not feel grateful for a little extra time?

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

2. A deeper bond with my someone. After 14 years of a draining (to put it nicely!) marriage, a messy divorce, and a year of (dear god) online dating, I found that someone. We share a deep sense of connection. And I’m not going to lie… It’s been awesome!

Pre-pandemic, we were traveling a bit and experiencing new places. We spent countless hours in romantic, dimly lit restaurants. And we enjoyed live music together. It was all a little dreamy and fun.

But sometimes when you’re caught up in a whirlwind of romance, you sail right past the thing that really matters, which is how the other person — not the things you do with that person — makes you feel and how you feel about them.

The pandemic has been a test for many relationships. When the things you do together become routine, you’re less likely to focus on those activities and have more than enough opportunity to really look at the person you’re with.

And (whew) I like what I see!

We eat take out and binge-watch Netflix. We hike and ride bikes and stroll around the neighborhood. And I’ve enjoyed every minute of getting to better know my someone. Nicer yet… it still feels romantic, and our relationship feels a little more solid than it did before. Win-win!

3. Better health. If you’ve made it through this past year without any major health setbacks, then you can’t help but feel grateful.

In its early days, I joined the crowd and celebrated the pandemic with pies, chocolate, and a smorgasbord of comfort foods. But then I came around and started taking better care of myself because the pandemic reminded me how fragile health really is.

So, I’ve remained diligent about exercise and movement. I think more about the things I eat and put into my body. And I’ve adopted some new self-care routines that I can’t imagine living without. Most significantly, I meditate — a practice I never thought I’d find the time to do. But, as I’d heard, meditation really does help with time management. Perhaps most importantly, I sleep more soundly as a result of all these changes I’ve made. Overall, I feel stronger and more resilient.

4. A slower, calmer pace. It’s too easy to get caught up in the mad shuffle of modern-day life, and like so many others… I’m guilty! We move so fast and take on so much that we forget what we’re here to do… which is (in my opinion) to live, love, and learn.

And living our lives to the fullest isn’t about loading up our social calendars. I know you’ve heard this one before, but I’ll go ahead and say it again… life is not a race! Or a never-ending party.

That said, the pandemic has offered us the most amazing of gifts… which is simply “less to do.” Many of us no longer commute to the office. We don’t schedule and attend countless social gatherings. We’re not constantly running in circles… taking kids to school, heading to the gym, swinging by the market, picking the kids up from school, attending the kids’ sporting events. And with less to do, we have more time… for eating dinner with our family, relaxing, and even sleeping, which is so incredibly important for our health.

Simple Ways to Cultivate Appreciation

All that said, I must add that I do understand how tapping into gratitude is sometimes so much easier said than done. On occasion, life just stinks. And grumbling is much easier than mustering up appreciation. But these are the exact same times that practicing gratitude can benefit us the most.

So, here are some tips to get you started:

1. Think small. Focus on one little thing that brings you joy… the scent of your morning coffee or that gentle spring breeze… something that you could delight in on most any regular day. Concentrate on that for a while. Then turn your attention to something else for which you feel grateful. And keep on going!

2. Take notes. You can think about something you appreciate, and you express that appreciation out loud. But when you write it down, you give it staying power.

3. Schedule time to be thankful. Find a regular time to list out the things you’re grateful for. Some people like to do this before they sit down for dinner. Others may prefer to add it to their bedtime routine. Whatever it is, pick a time and stick with it for two weeks. Almost anything can become a habit if you practice it for 14 days in a row.

4. Share those upbeat thoughts. Positive energy accompanies gratitude, and the world can always benefit from a force of good. So, don’t be shy! Tell people about the things you appreciate. It might just get them to think about what makes them thankful… and on and on it goes. Soon, you’ll get to appreciate all the positive energy that surrounds you.

To Sum It Up…

Sometimes, I feel almost guilty for this deepened sense of gratitude. Because I’ve been one of the lucky ones so far. I haven’t lost any loved ones to the virus. I haven’t been impacted financially. I love and miss my friends, but I’m not lonely. And somehow, my mental health has improved. I’ve spent the past year watching the world fall apart from the comfort of my carefully constructed nest.

It’s easy for me to be thankful.

But I’ll say it again… I am grateful. And honestly, that’s okay, because gratitude is nothing if not positive. The energy we send out into this world has a snowball effect. And right now, the world needs all the optimism it can get.

Originally published at https://www.contena.co on May 11, 2021.